Just Breathe

Over the winter break, I started this blog. The purpose of creating it was to basically get inspired and inspire others to write, and think, and mature mentally. I was pretty much sick of all the things we use to talk about; boys, weight, boys, parties, boys, friends, BOYS. So, i decided to re-invent myself by isolating myself from alot of my school friends, and basically focusing on ME instead of THEM.
Because there wasn't anyone there to interfere with my new thoughtprocess, and i was doing pretty fine. I worked out, drank lots of water, practiced my photography skills, and played my music. Even after those two weeks, I thought that I would ruin everything that I had done... And in a sense, i was right.
I became so lazy for some reason, that I stopped doing homework, barely worked out, used my phone just as much as I use to, and stopped taking pictures. I had a thoughtprocess where I would block all of the crap out of my little 'bubble' and just be balanced and mature, and not go back to being insecure, lonely, and sad everytime someone doesnt have time for me. I realize now, that it takes more than two weeks. And blocking everyone out might be the EASIEST thing to do, its not the most practical.

Now, when dealing with boys, I kind of messed up on that one too. Basically, all those stupid butterflies and thoughts that I had completely erased from my mind came back all in one night. Sorry, no details haha. But the truth is, I've realized that I've been waiting by the phone just to get a message or a bbm from him, and that's the complete OPPOSITE of what I wanted.
My new motto has been 'Fake it till you believe it', and it's basically because I know that you can't control the way you feel, or the way you think, but you can control the way you react to those feelings and the way you deal with them. Im no saint, I promise you, no matter how much i want to be at the end of the day. One of my best friends keeps repeating this word : 'Balance' ... because in the end of the day, if you don't have that, you've got nothing. And you'll just end up crashing, and crying for some stupid reason, because you've been putting 'too much weight' in one thing, and not putting enough weight in others.
Live your dreams and work hard, but also, don't eliminate love, or 'lust' as i call it, because in the end, you might lose that balance.

xx